Vending personal data...

Deciding what message to display next...

Initializing Rokos Basilisk...

Emptying bank account...

Installing rootkit...

Counting backwards from infinity...

Installing crimeware...

Generating unsolvable koans...

Deterministically simulating the future...

Fermenting jenkem...

Moving sattelite into position...

Deleting zeroth sector of hard disk...

Insyalling Goodtimes virus...

Asserting packed exemplars...

Please wait while the little elves draw your map...

Tapping into subconscious fears...

Collapsing superpositions...

Opening a rift in time and space...

Notifying field agents...

Negotiating for WiFi password...

Installing trojan...

Harvesting meta-organs...

Waiting for sysadmin to hit enter...

Reticulating splines...

Loading loading messages...